Revision:

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen:
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green

And the gates of this Chapel were shut,
And "Though shalt not" writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love
That so many sweet flowers bore;

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tomb-stones where flowers should be;
And Priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briars my joys and desires.

I haven't thought about it in a long time until I find an entry and I read it. It wasn't there for me to read...but I happened upon it anyway. I wish I knew what you were thinking. I just want to figure this out so that I can just stop wondering if there was something that could have been different. It was an accident that i read it but I don't think it was an accident that you wrote it. I started to write you a letter but all it says is Dear Kiddo...I put it under the red pillowcases, you know the ones that always reminded me of you? Then I thought about the past...and about how you didn't know me then, how can you know me now? You didnt know how I ticked, you didn't understand my reactions to anything. And now alls that I'm thinking is what if I did something wrong. I've got no cares but I've got every problem in the world. Just breathe while I confess murder to you, as I tell you my deepest dreams all over again. What you did is still hurting me and I'm still not hating you for it. All we've got is dead feelings. All I've got is a bottle of lies, a pillow full of dreams, and a head full of ideas.

Jibberish...thats what this all is.