More Blah

I had to work today. It was a bit of a disaster. I accidently forgot to order a table's food and I just kept telling them their food was coming before I realized I suck. It ended up being cool but all in all I felt a bit poopy in the end. I feel like I'm a huge disaster. Not like in a uber-clutzy sort of way but in every way that the word could describe it otherwise I suppose. I'm a mess all the time, I'm completely disorganized, I stress myself out, I don't shower nearly enough and my hair totally reflects all these things about me.

I'm sitting in my living room. The apartment is so empty. I feel like I really really like my roommates, but at the same time I don't find any of them particularly consoling. I guess I need someone to be consoling for me at times, just like some people need the same thing and you console them. I'm just really excited about my living situations next year, I'm living with all chill ass cool guys. I'm over the top pumped for coming home everyday to see my hot best friends that don't bring out my most dramatic side. Like i said, I love my roommates, I just don't want to be roommates with them anymore.

I feel like I've been trying to self reflect more and more. At some points in my life I think that I was totally not communicating with myself at all. Like when I think of what I'm like now and compare it to what I was like my senior year of high school, the two are so distant. I was so uptight and wound up all the time for god only fucking knows what, probably something really stupid. Now I feel as chill as can be, while at the same time making reactions to things. I feel like there are points in my life where I would just react to everything and react accordingly. I definitely think that my relationship with my dad has a lot to do with that. I think I've just basically been putting myself out there, whatever to whoever wants to attempt to interpret.

I can't find my backscratcher anywhere. I feel as though if anyone else knew it was in existence, they would have taken it as they are extremely valuable items, and by valuable I mean the most useful things on the planet.