I really do hate him now.

There's absolutley nothing like Kasono's uplifting talks that always make you feel better. You can't help but smile no matter how awful a mood your in. I love him.

I now know that me trying was silly and that from now on I just shouldn't even utter the word. The name. I shouldn't think the thought. Act like I was acting before more shit ran into my fan. Not acting. Being. I wasn't faking my disgust, I was and still am disgusted. I'm not making myself this way, I am this way and today just made me even more right.

My Sunshine Buddy works again. It just sways it's head in my window and I know that it's laughing at me. Or laughing with me? It knows that I figured out that I don't need someone close to me making me feel like shit when I have people I don't know to do that.

I'm so fucking glad it's over and that I don't have to even worry about being that person's friend anymore because their last chance was today. Obviously I had to be the man and went the halfway point but they didn't meet me there. Not that that's a suprise but now I know. Now I can keep on ignoring your exisistance, no I can now go back to knowing that you really mean nothing to me again, now I remember why that was true.

Kasono said it toned me down a bit. I don't like that. I liked being wild and actually being myself. I lost my way but now I'm on track again. I don't like being anything less than who I am, and who Kasono loves me for.