I don't know how good reading is for me at times. I get so bored with my own life that I immerse myself completely in theirs, getting further and further away from coming back to the real world.

I need a change. Like a huge change. Something that is going to excite me and make me change for the better. Im just sick of most of the elements that make up my life currently. I'm sick of my friends, sick of my clothes, my hair, myself. I feel like I'm a really lame person. Like one of those people that your friends with but that you don't really have an opinion on because she's too disconnected from everyone to really care enough. I'm becoming less social. I'm closing in on myself more and more, my book is leading me through it.

There is nothing particularly special about the book that I am reading right now. In fact it's kind of embarrassing. I'm reading the Twilight series, they're actually fairly decent. They're quick reads and basically romance novels for teens. I think I just like imagining life otherwise, other than the way that I live it. I like to think that there are alternatives that see the lighter, or darker, side of life, that there are some people already closer to hell and heaven than others.

I'm going to work soon. I'm quitting my job. It's going to be a rough year, I can already feel it creeping up on me. I have zero money and I work all the time. I need a desk job. I need a place where I have to speak with minimal people and have time for my own brain to work on itself. I can't think over things when I'm walking all over a restaurant worrying about whether or not people are getting taken care of. I have to quit, I'll die if I don't.