The Eragon Mystery
So I decided to be like many Americans and buy the "Young adult" novel "Eragon." I figured, well they are making a movie about it, and I'll probably see the movie so I guess I'll read the book. I was disappointed. No joke. So I question "Why are people SO into this book?"
First of all, it's like a shitty version of LOTR and Star Wars mixed together. The back story is indeed Star Wars. The fact that Eragon is like Luke where hes the destined one and he's an orphan and has magic powers to develop blah blah blah. Then there's Brom that is like Obi Wan Kenobi...oh and he so conviently dies earlier than he'd planned so Eragon doesn't have time to finish his training (sound familiar yet?) And then theres the bad side. It's called "The Empire" and there is a rebel force AKA The Varden. The Varden isn't strong enough to defeat the Empire but now that they have Eragon they have "new hope". What was the title of the first Star Wars?
As for LOTR, I'm not sure if I've seen more of a knock-off. The dumbass kid that wrote it even admits to being a Tolkien fanatic. Hasn't anyone noticed that main character is called "Eragon"? Sounds conviently like "Aragorn." "Arya" and "Arwen" is ANYONE else picking up on this? Also there is Galbatorix (most retarded name ever) that is the King whose power was because he took over because he was a pussy and lost his first dragon and was pissed about it. The elves are all leaving to the undying lands. And then there is the fact that there is competition between all the races (which are also conviently humans, wizards, dwarfs, elves and dragons.) Of course there is another language just to make this book even more fruity and more like LOTR. Only the difference between this kid and JRR Tolkien is that Tolkien was a linguist and this little shit just makes up the first noise that comes to his head.
Secondly the characters are awful. Saphira is a crabby ass and thinks shes all wise and powerful when really she's been through way less than everyone else. And it was her fault his uncle died because she blew a gasket and had a stupid hissy fit. Eragon is boring and learns how to read in a week, who else is unconvinced? He is a decieving mafing lazy ass and he still manages to smarten up. Brom changes from the first half of the book to the second. None of the characters are developed enough to like. Everyone thinks they're the most important person in the world and their dialogue isn't like anyone talks. Most of the time it's just people being crabby and pissed when they find out that someone is better than them. I feel like the only reason that people like this book is because they're too lazy to read LOTR and they figure that this is just as good.
Nothing happens in the whole book. The book is written saying what they did everyday, and most of the time it's the same thing that the people did yesterday. The story is completly unbelieveable and has so many holes in it. It's just plain ol bad writing. There is a reason that 15 year olds don't write book and this is a good example why it's not a good idea. Therefore I don't get it, I don't get why people like it so much. If everyone would have died in the end it might have been a little bit better, and then we wouldn't have to suffer through the sequel, or the third one (trilogy eh? hmm...what else was a trilogy?) Therefore I will not be jumping on the bandwagon of Eragon addicts, in fact I will be making fun of each and every one of them for actually liking such a shitty piece of literature.
First of all, it's like a shitty version of LOTR and Star Wars mixed together. The back story is indeed Star Wars. The fact that Eragon is like Luke where hes the destined one and he's an orphan and has magic powers to develop blah blah blah. Then there's Brom that is like Obi Wan Kenobi...oh and he so conviently dies earlier than he'd planned so Eragon doesn't have time to finish his training (sound familiar yet?) And then theres the bad side. It's called "The Empire" and there is a rebel force AKA The Varden. The Varden isn't strong enough to defeat the Empire but now that they have Eragon they have "new hope". What was the title of the first Star Wars?
As for LOTR, I'm not sure if I've seen more of a knock-off. The dumbass kid that wrote it even admits to being a Tolkien fanatic. Hasn't anyone noticed that main character is called "Eragon"? Sounds conviently like "Aragorn." "Arya" and "Arwen" is ANYONE else picking up on this? Also there is Galbatorix (most retarded name ever) that is the King whose power was because he took over because he was a pussy and lost his first dragon and was pissed about it. The elves are all leaving to the undying lands. And then there is the fact that there is competition between all the races (which are also conviently humans, wizards, dwarfs, elves and dragons.) Of course there is another language just to make this book even more fruity and more like LOTR. Only the difference between this kid and JRR Tolkien is that Tolkien was a linguist and this little shit just makes up the first noise that comes to his head.
Secondly the characters are awful. Saphira is a crabby ass and thinks shes all wise and powerful when really she's been through way less than everyone else. And it was her fault his uncle died because she blew a gasket and had a stupid hissy fit. Eragon is boring and learns how to read in a week, who else is unconvinced? He is a decieving mafing lazy ass and he still manages to smarten up. Brom changes from the first half of the book to the second. None of the characters are developed enough to like. Everyone thinks they're the most important person in the world and their dialogue isn't like anyone talks. Most of the time it's just people being crabby and pissed when they find out that someone is better than them. I feel like the only reason that people like this book is because they're too lazy to read LOTR and they figure that this is just as good.
Nothing happens in the whole book. The book is written saying what they did everyday, and most of the time it's the same thing that the people did yesterday. The story is completly unbelieveable and has so many holes in it. It's just plain ol bad writing. There is a reason that 15 year olds don't write book and this is a good example why it's not a good idea. Therefore I don't get it, I don't get why people like it so much. If everyone would have died in the end it might have been a little bit better, and then we wouldn't have to suffer through the sequel, or the third one (trilogy eh? hmm...what else was a trilogy?) Therefore I will not be jumping on the bandwagon of Eragon addicts, in fact I will be making fun of each and every one of them for actually liking such a shitty piece of literature.
posted by Elinor at
5:58 PM
3 Comments
