Not about who you think.

Probably thought he didn't need to say,
Probably though it wasn't about the words
The solution to our problem was simple,
If he felt it, he would say it.
He's not like that in some ways,
Yet, it's just so typical, so predictable
For a man, a boy i should say,
To lose what was most valuable to him
All because he couldn't say it.
Too stupid, too cockey, too brave,
Not even brave enough to say to who he knows best
About what he knows best.
He let me leave.
He let me go.
He lost me.
All because he couldn't say it.
It makes me wonder if my love
Wasn't good enough?
Didn't give enough?
Wasn't what he wanted.
I wasn't what he wanted.
I wasn't what he needed.
What he needed to say it.
What he needed to feel it.

Oh, wow.

Why aren't people moving on from high school? I'm just wondering. I mean sure, I hated college for the beginning of it and sure I hung out with some of my high school friends because I didn't have many friends here yet and because I was scared. But now, I just don't get it. I love college, and yes it is true that i have abandoned a lot of my high school friends. I don't hang out with a lot of them anymore. It's not that I don't care, in fact it makes me sad some times, but that I just don't have time for it anymore. And when I do, the things that are available for us to do is either go to a college party where they won't know anyone but me and hate it. Or we go to a high school party where I know the majority of people and in the meantime I'm sad because I didn't go to the available college party where I would have had more fun. The thing just is that I've moved on. I'm past that whole high school thing. I'm past the awkward college phase too and right now I don't think I've ever had more fun in my life. I've never loved the people around me more, I've never felt more at home. In fact, when I came home over break it was weird, being in my house was weird. Sleeping in my bed isn't the norm for me anymore...and I love it.

So the other day I decided to buck up and go to my old high school's basketball game. I didn't wear orange (or black for that matter.) I sat with some friends of mine (that are in college that went to my high school) and I didn't cheer. Well I mean I did, but when I was in high school I dressed up, I was in the middle of the crowd and I was for sure one of the loudest. But I mean it's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't go there anymore. I'm not extremly emotional or OMG SO PISSED when a ref makes a bad call. Sure if we lose, I think "that sucks" or if we win I think "ok that's good to hear." But the whole thing where I'm actually upset about it has passed. And you would think that this would be true for most people that have gone off to college, but oh no. There were kids that were far into the student section, screaming and yelling and they had their faces painted. I mean when I got home I got a message on facebook that we had "OMG GONE ON TO THE FINALS!!!" Personally I thought to myself "you don't go there anymore, you don't matter there anymore." When you used to yell at people, it mattered because you had your pride, your allegiance to the school. I still have that pride but I don't run around yelling "South in the mouth" anymore because I DONT GO THERE ANYMORE. I go to Minnesota, granted I will not be yelling MN in your mouth anytime soon because they don't rhyme, but the point is, I go to Minnesota and I get excited about THOSE games, I freak out at THOSE games. I feel like everyone else should get over it.

Other than that, I'm having the time of my life. Granted I'm too busy to breathe, but isn't that how I always liked it?